Not a robot

The INTJ. One of the "rarest" and if you trust the Internet, most lusted after MBTI types, in spite of all of our stereotyped "antisocial" or "mad genius" behavior.

Examples? Mr. Darcy, Sherlock Holmes, Mycroft Holmes, James Moriarty, Hannibal Lector, Clarice Starling, Professor Randolph Lyall, and Emperor Palpatine are all speculated fictional INTJs. This is a bit confusing, but it doesn't have to be… since each exemplifies various extreme aspects of INTJ behavior. Never mind that if you're a fictional character, you can't actually take the MBTI test and usually it's all down to fans trying to say their type is the best. There is no best type. It is not a contest. They are a tool for self-understanding. If I see one more post, anywhere, about how special it is being an INTJ, I will probably flip a table over in frustration.

These are certain things I’ve concluded about us from my own experience, and as a good friend of two (male) INTJs. If you’re looking at this, you probably already know all about the MBTI and its types, so I’ll spare you the background information! But if you’re new to this stuff, you can learn about the MBTI all over the place. Google away. There’s also the Enneagram test, which is another personality inventory that is not allied with the MBTI but is sometimes used in conjunction with it. (I’m a Type 5 with a 4 wing that skews pretty close to the 6 wing.) They aren’t the same thing.

It is useful, or at least insightful, to be typed. (And I don’t just mean online.) My type has never fluctuated, which generally it won’t, and it’s been helpful in terms of my own self-understanding and the way I relate to others.

The INTJ from my perspective:

• Empathy is not an issue for us, but expressing it can be difficult. (If you’re a Feeler, please, please, please never suggest to us that we “get in touch with our emotional side.” We may not express feelings in the same way that you do, but that doesn’t mean that we don’t have them. It also doesn’t mean we hate you.)
• We tend to be unobtrusive until we open our mouths.
• When we do open our mouths, we are direct, often wry.
• We don’t talk about things we don’t understand; therefore we sound like know-it-alls.
• Intelligence is sexy to us.
• We have a laissez-faire attitude toward other people until they affect us.
• Sociability is not necessarily our strongpoint.
• Logic wins every argument; overly sentimental reasonings don’t work on us.
• If we deem you somehow illogical/irrelevant, you may be ignored (or possibly mocked).
• We are very loyal, but probably don’t have lots of friends.
• If we like you, one of the ways we will show it will be to offer you advice and/or solutions to your problems.
• Our best ideas are abstract and long term.
• Privacy is highly important to us.
• We ask “why” a lot– really, we’re worse than children.
• Getting bored easily tends to be an issue.
• Perfectionism can be, too— although it may manifest in not trying new things, because we don’t want to be “bad” at something.
• If we’re confusing or offending you, please tell us and ask us to clarify.
• Putting things in order according to a system is one of our ideas of fun.
• If it isn’t efficient, we lose patience with it (or try to fix it).
• We make great leaders, but will usually only take leadership as a last resort.
• We’re not all scientists or mathematicians, but we are generally interdisciplinary.
• We love deeply, but kind of… narrowly, if you will… and by that I mean, we may not place a huge importance on finding romantic relationships, but if we’re in one, we take it seriously.
• Our thoughts tend to be non-linear and we skip from A-F intuitively. We see systems and connections really well.
• We may be control freaks, but if there’s a genuine out-of-control thing that comes up, we can be quite good at dealing with it— we plan obsessively, generally for lots of different scenarios.
• It can take time for our emotions to percolate to the surface. I will repeat this: it can take time for our emotions to percolate to the surface. Don't expect an immediate "gushy" response to something related to our feelings. 
• Sometimes we can be extraordinarily insecure if we feel we’re not doing well at something and this causes us to cling to positive reinforcement, but unfortunately it can come off as false modesty, fishing for compliments, or boasting. 
• If we are overwhelmed, we can be antisocial. 
• It may seem as if we are a little wired or overexcited about weird things that you may not find all that interesting: let us be happy. 
• It sometimes happens that we have no idea how our behavior makes you feel: i.e. we may not see certain quirks as "arrogant" or "snobby." This isn't to say that INTJs are never arrogant, but that 7 out of 10 times we don't mean to be that way.